Scared into the arms of another. Having a baby is scary. You're concerned that your child is born healthy, and that you do a good job of keeping him or her that way. The general worry that coincides with having a baby can also be taking a tole on your partner and lead them astray.
Psychiatrists further explain the phenomenon of cheating during pregnancy. Scott Haltzman, M.D., says “It can also stem from an emotional need, like a desire to be cared for, to feel important or special."
This was the case with Troy. Troy, who had an affair during his wife’s third pregnancy, said that "there was such a focus on her, with all she was going through and about to go through, that I became less and less relevant. I wanted to feel important and valued... And it worked.” Troy’s wife never found out about his infidelity and they remain married today. He says he has no regrets.
Cheating put into perspective. For married couples — generally — there is a six percent chance of infidelity occurring in any given year and a 25 percent chance of infidelity happening some time throughout the span of their marriage. These statistics exist due to major marital issues such as personality differences, sexual differences or even abuse. Cheating happens when there’s something wrong with your relationship.
If he cheats on you while you’re pregnant, it’s because your relationship wasn’t good before you even conceived. Pregnancy doesn’t make someone cheat. Yes, pregnancy adds pressure and strain to your relationship, but becoming pregnant doesn’t trigger a cheater. A cheater is a cheater no matter the circumstances.
“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” Throw cheating and pregnancy hormones into the mix and I can guarantee that hell’s fury will seem like a vibrant spring day in comparison.
What do you do if you're pregnant and your significant other cheats on you? The next step, after finding out, is deciding if this is a person you want in your life and if you are willing to work through whatever it is that they are going through that made them cheat. Or you can turn the page and move on without your partner. This will no doubt take some conversations with him, yourself and perhaps even a professional counselor.